Day 4 - Employment

Employment is probably not one of the first things you think about when you are contemplating Christmas, but tomorrow is Thanksgiving and this is something I am definitely thankful for.

Until I had been there myself I had no concept of the despair that comes from being unemployed.  I had frequently imagined what it might be like, but until you live it you can't fully grasp it.  Now that I have "been there, done that, got the t-shirt" I have a new found appreciation for employment.

Almost two years ago a wonderful neighbor that I have looked up to for years called and offered me a job working for one of his companies.  At the time I was catatonic with worry and didn't have a clue where I could go to find a job.  The pay wasn't spectacular but it met all of our basic needs and, more importantly, helped me feel like I was contributing once again.  I know that this kind man did not need to fill the position I took, but he knew that I needed a job - both to provide for my family and to get me back in the game of life.  During the course of my employment with him I had the opportunity to work with a very knowledgeable accountant who taught me several principles of accounting that I now use in my current job.  There were so many tender mercies extended to me during my 7 months with that company.  I will be forever grateful for my neighbor's unselfish concern for the welfare of my family and me.

A year ago this week another friend invited me to work for him.  The pay was a significant step up for me and it put into practice the training I had received over the previous 7 months at my other job.  It has also given me the opportunity to collaborate with other individuals as we have worked to build a business.  Being able to provide for my family while working in a stimulating environment has been a huge boost to my confidence.  I love my job and am grateful for my employer.

I am so grateful for my job.  I acknowledge God's hand in inspiring good men to give me a chance and allowing me to stand once again on my own two feet.  During this season of Thanksgiving I express my gratitude for God's tender mercies.  He is ever mindful of me, even when I don't always recognize it.

Day 3 - Children

Christmas would not have nearly the magic it does without children.  They take delight in so many things about the season and see things from a perspective we once had but, in some instances, have long forgotten.  My own children are a constant reminder of the importance of keeping the big picture in mind when dealing with Christmas.

If you know me personally or have read previous posts on this blog you know that my family, like so many others, has had some frightful financial struggles recently.  During this time I frequently allowed my expectations of Christmas to needlessly stress me out.  Several Christmas miracles (one of which I recorded here) helped me regain my perspective, but far and away the greatest miracle to me was my wife and my children.

My wife would somehow come up with presents - trading things with friends, doing pedicures or taking on other projects to earn a little money - and she relished doing it.  She still does.  Although I would frequently retreat into my grinch alter-ego, it is impossible not to feel the excitement my wife has about doing something for her children.  And that is always the focus - the children.  She doesn't spoil them with fancy presents, but she has a talent for making our kids feel loved on Christmas morning.  And it is so fun watching her feel sneaky about the presents she gets for them.  She calls me up the minute she has put a plan into action.

On Christmas morning the children don't disappoint either.  They squeal with delight at every little thing and, oddly enough, it is the little things that seem to make them smile the most.  Last year Tail Gunner would not leave his stocking to open his other presents.  I watched my kids get excited about toothbrushes and their own personal tubes of toothpaste two years ago - and it wasn't a put on, they were genuinely thrilled.  Somehow my children know that it really is the thought that counts, or maybe it is the sheer joy they see in their mom's face as they open their presents, but they just bask in the love on Christmas morning and their smiling happy faces make even an old grinch like me smile.

Children fill a home with the Christmas spirit, because children have a natural ability to detect love.  During this sacred season they instinctively react with joy as we celebrate the greatest love ever manifest to mankind.

I am grateful for my children, and the love they bring into my life.

Day 2 - Arizona Winter Weather

While the rest of the country dreams (or digs out) of a white Christmas, here in AZ we wear shorts.  In fact December weather is one of the great blessings of living in Arizona.  (We won't mention May thru September)

The days are absolutely beautiful!

I love being outside, going for walks, enjoying the winter rye grass lawns and just plain enjoying the freedom of lower temperatures. 

While I do miss the dramatic changes of the seasons I enjoyed growing up in Mexico, the change in temperature is dramatic enough to keep me smilin'.

Yep - Arizona is mighty fine in wintertime.  Just ask half of Canada, 3/4's of Minnesota and all of the Dakota's. 

Season of Distraction or of Inspiration?

From the first day of our marriage, my sweet Dulcinea and I have gotten along famously and have had very few serious disagreements.  That being said, we do have pet peeves, and of all the little pet peeves my wife has about me, there is one that really gets her.  Fortunately it only comes out once a year:

My alter ego - November 1 through December 24th

My list of things I don't like about Christmas is very cliche, and boils down to how much the commercialization of Christmas bugs me.  I know - very original (I said it was cliche).

What a self-righteous rant!

The scriptures and God's prophets are constantly counseling us to "be in the world but not of the world."  Certainly this counsel should apply to our attitude towards one of the holiest days in the Christian calendar.  If I allow my own self-righteous indignation to crowd out the Spirit of Christmas, don't I trivialize it far more than the retailers whose advertisements drive me nuts?

To help me overcome this fault and fill my heart with the Spirit of Christmas this season I am embarking on a project of personal improvement.  From now until December 25th I will spend time each day writing about Christmas.  It will include memories of Christmases past, Christmas stories, family traditions or simply an expression of gratitude for my Savior and His great gift to me.

Day 1 - Longing for Home

I love how the hearts of so many people grow more tender towards their family during the Christmas Season.  Something about the Christmas Spirit draws us closer together as a family.  We long to be with those we love, and often we long to be with them in our old homes or home towns.  Gifts given or received may briefly cross our minds, but mostly we remember being around our family.

I am thankful for my family, and I have been blessed with a large one.  My wife and children, my parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts and cousins are all a joy to be around.  I love each one of them and the promise we have of being a family on into the eternities.

I am thankful for the central role that families play in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Uncle Clifford

On Sunday our family lost a cherished member.  I have tried to write about the feelings I have had as our family has exercised our faith on Uncle Cliff's behalf over the past five weeks, but I feel that perhaps they are too personal and sacred to share here.  

I sure am going to miss Uncle Cliff.  I'm grateful for his example and wish I could be with the family this weekend as we remember him.

Godspeed Tio.

Clifford Leon Whetten 
(February 10, 1946 - September 11, 2011) 

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Clifford Leon Whetten

Clifford Leon Whetten left this mortal existence on September 11, 2011 surrounded by his loving family. His passing was sudden yet sweet, due to complications from pancreatic cancer. At the time of his diagnosis, Clifford was serving as the MTC President for the LDS Church in Lima, Peru.
Clifford was born February 10, 1946 in Colonia Chuichupa, Chihuahua, Mexico to Glen and Ada Whetten. He was the seventh of ten children. His siblings were his best friends throughout his life.
After graduating from the Juarez Stake Academy, he served his first mission in Northern Mexico. He married Rosalyn Hatch in the Mesa, AZ temple on December 21, 1968. Together they were blessed with four children.
After earning degrees from BYU and UTEP, Clifford moved his family to College Station, TX. Upon earning his PhD from Texas A&M, he remained at the university as a professor of education administration and multi-cultural studies. They spent many happy years in Texas raising their family. During that time, he served as a branch president, bishop and as a member of the stake presidency.
Clifford retired from teaching early, at the age of 59, when he was called to serve as president of the Mexico Tuxtla Gutierrez Mission from 2005-2008. Upon completing their mission, Clifford and his wife settled in Utah to be closer to their children and grandchildren. But their love of missionary work was put into action once again when he and his wife went to serve at the MTC in Lima, Peru in January 2010. Clifford received an honorable release from his earthly missionary service on September 7, 2011, four days before his passing.
Clifford is survived by his eternal companion, Rosalyn; their children Diana Windley (Ryan), Carolyn Smith (Jacob), Renee Christensen (Gary), and David (Natalie); their grandchildren Jett, Lauren, Luke, Jenna, Tommy, Carter and Sammy; and his siblings John, Velma, Amanda, Robert, Edward, Earline, and Don.
He is preceded in death by his parents and two brothers, Glen and Bert.
Funeral services will be held Friday, September 16, 2011 at 11 a.m. at the Valley View Ward, 2455 North Valley View Drive, Layton. Friends may visit family Thursday from 6 to 8 p.m. at Lindquist’s Layton Mortuary, 1867 No. Fairfield Road and Friday from 9:30 to 10:30 a.m. at the church.
Interment, Croydon Cemetery.
The family gives appreciation to Dr. Mark Ott and the many nurses at IMC who provided our husband and dad with compassionate care during the last five weeks.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to the LDS General Missionary Fund.

I love you but...

A couple of days ago my oldest son, Dr. Destructo, was tap dancing on my very last nerve.  Someone had come home from Jamba Juice a few minutes earlier and the remnants of a smoothie were being shared between the three youngest members of the family.  (I know, gross, but they didn't care so who was I to insist on hygiene? They're related anyway.)
Inevitably there was a screaming match going on between the youngest one and his two older siblings as they took to the smoothie like a school of piranhas.  I had a massive headache at the time and had watched the two older ones take sip after sip without letting the little guy get his head in there for a chance.  This, of course, set him off.

(Before we go any further you should know, if you don't already, that two-year-olds of both genders have been blessed with the most piercing high-pitched wail known to man.  If you happen to have a headache when the wail goes off it will instantly reduce you to a blubbering pile of goo on the floor.)


Tailgunner was getting his wail worked into a fine crescendo, so I stepped in before he did irreparable harm to my head.  I had just told the two older ones to back off when Dr. Destructo swept in for one more shot of smoothie, setting off Tailgunner like an air raid alarm.  I lost it.

Nailing my oldest boy to the floor with a look of death I began the roaring for which I am known (unfortunately) in my house.  As I looked at him the most interesting thing took place.  I could see from the look on his face that he was about to argue with me that it really was his turn at the smoothie. "Dad..." he began saying, but then he caught the expression on my face.  His eyes widened and then his voice got very small and said:  "Dad, I love you Dad."

His expression (undoubtedly one of self-preservation) took almost all the steam out of my boiler, but I was still too worked up to completely think through my response:

"I love you too son, but you have to be obedient."

I was irritated that he had been disobedient and because his actions were aggravating my headache.  No doubt my son needed correction, however by putting that conditional "but" in the middle of my sentence I'm afraid that I communicated a very damaging message to my son.  It no sooner came out of my mouth than I realized I had failed the test of that moment.

There are no "buts" when it comes to the love a parent has for their child.  It is not conditional on their performance, they do not have to be constantly earning it and they should never feel that they are in danger of losing that love.

Could I re-do this moment I would have said "I love you too son, and because I love you I want you to learn to be obedient."

"Dad, I love you Dad"

In my mind's eye I can see Heavenly Father saying:  "I love you Paul, and because I love you I will give you another opportunity to take this test down the road.  Be sure you don't forget the lessons you learned from failing this test."

Stereotypes Rule!

Last night our ward had its annual swim party at a local pool.  In the weeks leading up to the party several of the men commented on the cannonball contest that was held at each party and asked me whether or not I would be competing.  (I guess they were expecting something spectacular due to my rather portly figure)
I really didn't want to compete for a few reasons:

• Heights terrify me and the contest was to be held off the high dive
• I always worry that the diving board will snap off when I get out on the end
• I didn't want to prove the stereotype that the fat guy ALWAYS wins the cannonball contest (it is technique, not size, that wins)

Well...

Hats (or crowns) off to the previous holders of the Salt River Ward Splash King title:

2006 - Brian O'Barr

2007 - Jay Coombs

2008 - Tim Green

2009 - Brian O'Barr

2010 - Gregor McHardy

2011 - Yours Truly